Just Another Day in the Life sort of
by SophieSaulie
Summary: Billy and Adele are caught in a potential hostage situation. Billy is severely injured and truths are revealed. No Billy/Adele shipping and no character death.
1. Chapter 1

**Just Another Day in the Life…sort of**

**Part One:**

Billy normally took his coffee from the CIA lounge vending machine, supplementing it with a flourish of sugar to make it remotely palatable. It was a meager attempt at coffee at best. This particular morning, he needed something much stronger and more flavorful than what that machine could brew so he had decided to walk to the nearby coffee cafe.

As he walked by the large picture window of the cafe, he caught a glimpse of Adele and Rick sharing time and coffee together in a secluded corner. It brought a delighted smile to his face as he watched them laugh, clasp hands, and share a pastry. He entered, ordered his expresso and walked over to the couple to await it.

"Well, fancy meeting you both here," Billy greeted.

Rick looked a bit perturbed, but Adele welcomed him with a smile.

"Operative Collins, what brings you here?" She asked.

"Well, as Rick knows, I normally partake of the manufactured coffee in the CIA lounge, but I needed something stronger than its watery brew. Do you frequent this establishment often?"

"As much as we can. It gives us some priivacy," Rick said a note of irritation in his voice.

Adele glared at him for his rudeness.

"Ah, so you are keeping your romance discreet, a secret from prying eyes, aye? Well, I hate to tell ya, but I fear the secret's been out for quite a while," Billy teased.

Rick heaved an exasperated sigh.

"What were you expecting, mate? It's the CIA, after all."

Adele just smiled then looked at Rick.

"He wanted to protect me. He didn't want people to think that I was compromising the agency for him, playing favorites. He didn't want to undermine my authority."

Billy smiled, not surprised and filled with pride.

"Aye, I believe that. Our Rick here is a chivalrous lad indeed," Billy said as he patted Rick on the back. "But you needn't fear, Deputy Director, you have already proven your mettle as a capable Higgins substitute, dare I hope, his eventual replacement, and have garnered respect for your staunch handling of recent missions in his absence. There is no question in my mind that you possess the leadership qualities and necessary cunning to succeed Higgins."

Adele blushed and appreciated Billy's comments. She knew he had a talent for false charm, but she felt the sincerity in his words.

"Thank you," she said with a smile.

She noted Rick's frustration and couldn't help enjoying the spark of jealousy.

"I better get back," Rick said feeling a flush of embarrassment and irritation. "You coming?"

"Right behind ya, after I get my coffee."

Rick pecked Adele on the cheek and walked out. Billy watched as she finished her drink.

"We're -"

"You're going in separately. I understand," Billy smiled.

Adele smiled back.

"I know it's not necessary, but he -"

"Wants to protect ya. I get that. He's a lucky man," Billy said with a soft smile.

"I'm the lucky one," she smiled shyly.

Billy's heart warmed at the budding romance between the two.

"Expresso," the barrista called out.

"That's me," he said.

Billy walked over, got his drink and went back to Adele's table.

"I'm pleased to see you two making a go at a relationship. It's not easy given the nature of the business, secrecy and deceit so much a part of the job. I've encouraged Rick not to squander his good fortune."

Adele continued to smile.

"He must be heeding your advice. I can't take credit for it. Rick honestly believes we can make it work."

"And I see his belief has been borne out."

Adele smiled again, but it faded a bit.

"It's not the secrecy and deceit that worries me..."

Billy saw the uncertainty on her face.

"What then?" He sincerely asked.

"I'm his boss and I worry that I'll send him, send all of you to your deaths."

Billy observed the genuine concern on her face and found himself touched by her concern.

"Aye, the rigors and weight of responsibility of command is daunting, but you carry it with grace. Your compassion is more evidence to me that loyalty towards your command is well-placed and if it eases your mind at all, I will do my utmost to make sure that Rick remains safe in my protection."

Adele listened with awe and Billy's words were a comfort to her. He had an amazing way of giving an unshakeable reassurance that she knew she could count on unequivocally.

"I appreciate that and your words of support."

"You're most welcome," Billy said.

Out of the corner of his vision, Billy noted something suspicious. Three men wearing dark sunglasses and bulky coats walked in scanning purposefully the environs of the cafe. One man stood by the entrance clearly standing sentry to prevent people from coming in and more ominously to potentially prevent anyone from leaving. His gaze followed another heading towards the back behind the counter, disappearing into a back room. The last man just loitered at the center of the cafe, trying to look inconspicuous, but not escaping Billy's notice, his well-honed paranoia and instincts sending warning signals that something was about to happen and it wasn't good.

"Adele, I want you to trust me, all right?

"Of course, but what's wrong?" Adele asked, her voice calm with measured concern. Billy was impressed at her control.

"Three men have entered who are acting quite suspicously. One is at the entrance, one has made his way to a back room and the third is loitering at the center of the cafe. I haven't ascertained their intentions, but I fear they are up to nothing good."

Adele's gaze honed in on each man Billy identified with the exception of the man who had disappeared to the back room. She examined each carefully, applying her training in her appraisal.

"I agree with your assessment. Robbery?"

"Perhaps, but they are acting much too deliberate for it to be as simple as that. Clearly the fellow who went to the back is the leader."

Billy analyzed the situation and with innocents in the establishment, any rash movements would cause unnecesary casualties. There was also the inherent risk of revealing both he and Adele as CIA agents.

Since it seemed that the men weren't trying to draw blatant attention to themselves, figuring that coffee drinking patrons would be too distracted to notice them, not counting on two CIA agents who were attuned to such behavior to be there, Billy decided that he needed to gauge how close he could get to the ones watching at the front. He started to rise.

"What are you going to do?" Adele asked in a hushed tone.

"To test the waters," Billy said as he walked over to the man loitering at the center of the cafe.

Adele became concerned and watched him carefully.

Billy casually walked by the man and slightly bumped him.

"Sorry there, mate," Billy said as he deftly reached for some sugar packets on a service table.

The man barely acknowledged Billy as he walked back towards Adele. He sat back down.

"He's packing a weapon, could be two, can't be sure," Billy said in a whisper as he bent towards her ear, appearing to flirt with her to anyone watching.

"How can you be sure?" Adele said with a girlish smile, knowing to follow Billy's lead.

"I felt the butt of a pistol and also he hasn't removed either hand from his pockets. A man doesn't walk into a coffee shop without the intent of purchasing a beverage and he hasn't moved to do that. Neither has the man at the door."

"So, we're facing a hostage situation at best," Adele had surmised.

"Possibly. The unknown is the man who went into the back room. We don't know his intentions. The way things stand at this moment any action we take will compromise lives. Likely that was the intent, a populated cafe means the ability to have contingencies such as hostages."

"So we wait," she said.

Billy watched carefully and noticed that the man at the door was allowing people to enter and leave likely to keep suspicion at bay.

"I want you to walk out of here. They are allowing people to come and go to avoid suspicion."

"What about you?" She asked concerned about him.

"I can't leave a potential hostage situation. One of us has to get help."

Adele admired Billy's courage. Beyond the training, he was principled and wouldn't walk away from a situation where lives might be at stake.

"Agreed," Adele said reluctantly.

Billy heard the concern in Adele's voice and was moved by it.

"I'll be fine really," he said as he squeezed her hand and gave her a smile as much to comfort as to maintain the ruse in front of the potential robbers.

Adele rose from her chair as Billy rose with her. Billy pecked her on the cheek to maintain appearances then whispered, "Don't worry," as she started to make her way towards the door.

The calm resolve that Billy possessed and his ability to transfer his confidence to her amazed her.

He led her in the direction of the door, positioning himself near the man he had bumped. He then let her go and she couldn't help but feel an ache at leaving him behind. She needed to do something. As she reached the door, now within reach of the other potential robber guarding it, she turned her head to take one last glimpse and Billy gave her a quick wink.

Suddenly a shot rang out from the back room causing enough of a panic and distraction for Billy to make his move. He thrust his heel swiftly and smoothly into the kneecap of his assailant, causing him to yell in pain. He tried to pull his hand out of his pocket. Billy quickly grabbed it, confirming that it gripped a gun. He wrenched it free from the man's hand, taking possession. He finally laid an authoritative left cross to the man, sending him unconscious to the floor. Gun in hand Billy turned his attention to Adele.

Adele also used the distraction to turn towards the guard at the door and plunged her four-inch heel into his foot then threw the heel of her hand into his chin. Blindsided, he tried to pull his gun out of his pocket. She anticpated it and grabbed his hand, but the immediate burst of strength from him thwarted her attempt to disarm him and he managed to pull it out.

Billy, his assailant subdued, watched Adele battle the guard, impressed by her abilities, but realized her struggle with the gun. He ran over to assist while telling everyone in the cafe to run. He grabbed the guard's gun hand and twisted it to force him to drop the weapon. Adele moved away so to not impede Billy subduing him.

In the melee of the patrons running out of the cafe and the firefights of Billy and Adele, the third gunman came out from the back room armed. Realizing his other cohorts had been subdued and that his only way out was the front entrance, he decided to shoot his way out.

Finely tuned instincts had Billy maintaining surveillance of the surroundings even while going hand-to-hand with Adele's assailant. Seeing the last gunman emerge from the back, he noticed that he was readily armed and pointing his gun towards Adele, she not realizing that she was in harm's way. In a moment of concern, he abandoned the battle he was engaged in and called out to her.

"ADELE! Look out!" He yelled out as he headed towards her, gun in hand.

She, startled, looked around her to locate the danger. Instead, she spied Billy rushing in front of her, gun poised and pointed. The gunman began shooting and caught Billy in the chest before he could get shots off.

"Get out, Adele!" Billy yelled, his voice laced with pain, but before falling, he pumped well-placed shots into the assailant, killing him.

Billy crumpled down to one knee, his hands bracing him to the floor, keeping him from collapsing completely. Pain radiated from his chest as each intake of air sent searing fire into his lungs.

Shrieks and gasps filtered through the remaining patrons as they watched the scene in shock while trying to run out of the cafe. Adele also watched in horror.

"BILLY!" She screamed as she went towards him.

She bent down to him and grasped his shoulders. Billy groaned, shaking his head.

"You have to...get out of here. Take this," Billy shakily handed her his gun.

"I can't leave you like this."

"Afraid you must...I...c...can't..." Billy uttered weakly.

He lowered himself down to the floor, his strength seeping away with the blood flowing from his chest wound unable to hold himself up any longer.

Adele took the gun then helped ease Billy down, supporting him as best as she could, by leaning him against her. She couldn't bear the idea of leaving Billy behind to surely bleed to death when she suddenly felt the barrel of a gun at the back of her head. She stiffened.

"Give me the gun. Slowly or I'll kill you both," the guard said menacingly.

Billy grimaced with pain, but also with disappointment that Adele had been captured with him. He had to find some way to minimize the risk to her. He hated that his hasty actions had placed her in peril.

Adele handed the gun to the guard then gave Billy a knowing look that told him she wouldn't change her actions. It was appreciated by Billy, but of shallow comfort to him. He was resolved that he would get her out of this alive before he succumbed to his injuries.

"Let her go...She's of no use to you..."

"I beg to differ with you. Who exactly are you anyway? Police?"

Billy then realized a way to make him worth more than just the average hostage or at least make these men think he was valuable enough.

"I'm a CIA operative."

Both the guard as well as Adele gave Billy a surprised expression. She couldn't believe or imagine that breaking cover could help either of them. The guard, however, looked as if his interest had been piqued. Billy noted it with inner satisfaction. Maybe he could still manipulate the situation to Adele's favor.

"So Hamid was right. This is a CIA cover operation."

Once again Billy gave Adele a knowing look that she picked up on as a "go along with me" signal. She trusted him and would do anything she could to assist him in getting help.

"Yes, your man was right. Adele here is the fiancée of the Deputy Director. If you want to gain any advantage in the negotiations, best to let her go as a show of good faith," Billy said, not wanting to expose her as the Deputy Director, fearing it would make her that much more valuable as a hostage. Adele gave him a look that told him she had understood.

The guard gave Billy a look that worried him.

"Hamid was my brother and you killed him," he said coldly, but there was barely anger in his voice, more like the kind of anger that came from frustration.

Billy caught it.

He swallowed back and trembled with pain. Adele held onto him to comfort.

"Only to protect her from harm...Surely you can understand that motivation. You would have done...the same for your brother. If you must punish me then I accept that, but she is your best chance to escape this."

"Who says I want to now?" He said absently, almost with resignation.

Billy worried that for all the arguments he could present, by killing the man's brother, he may have sealed his and Adele's fates. Still, if his instincts were right, he heard something in the man's voice, in his reaction over his brother's death. Yes, there was anger maybe even the need for revenge, but more than that there was loss and failure.

Billy clenched and stiffened. He didn't know if he had time to play out a convincing debate to reach the ambivalence he clearly heard in the guard's voice.

Adele knew that Billy needed help and soon. He had rushed in to save her and though it was something any operative would have done, Billy was incomparable in the Agency. Rick had innumerable respect for him and if he lost Billy, he would be lost himself. She had to save him.

"He needs help. He could die. Please let us go. I know you're not a killer, if you were, you'd have killed us already. Whatever your reason for doing this, you haven't hurt anyone yet. Please let him go," Adele pleaded.

The guard looked at the two of them.

"You care about him," he observed.

"We work together and I know people, myself included, who need him."

Adele looked into his eyes then at Billy who was panting. It seemed that he hadn't heard her, too occupied trying to gain control of the pain or at least hadn't heard the emotion in her voice at the confession that she, also, needed him to stay alive. It wasn't love as she felt it with Rick, but there was a deep abiding respect for a man who was a mentor to someone she loved and who had sacrificed his body and possibly his life to save her.

"S...she's right...y...you know. Y…you can...end this...in your favor…let her help you…" Billy said as he closed his eyes in pain.

The guard looked over at his dead brother then back at the two of them. He placed his gun onto the nearby table and sat down in defeat.

"My brother...this was his idea. He believed the owner was CIA, thought he could ransom information about agents."

"Your brother made a mistake and I'm sorry he had to die, but you're making the right choice," Adele said softly, feeling sympathetic towards the man, believing that he had been misguided. "I promise to speak on your behalf, but you have to let me get help for Billy. If he should die, I'm afraid it will be out of my hands."

The man remained just silent.

Billy observed with respect and admiration Adele's compassion and negotiating skills. He felt his energies dwindling away and his field of vision was darkening so he had hoped that he would survive the situation to compliment her, but the way he was feeling, it felt doubtful.

The man nodded.

Adele gently laid Billy down to the floor, his head in her lap. She then reached into her pocket, pulled out her phone and called the office. She invoked emergency assistance for a downed operative then called Rick. The panic in his voice pained her. She could practically hear him running during their conversation. When she hung up, she heard Billy struggle to take in breaths. It frightened her.

"Billy? Billy?" She called out to him softly.

The spreading bloodstain across his chest and the pooling blood beneath him gave her an ache and a chill.

A groan came from Billy then a gagging laugh.

"N...n...never underestimate the power of a w...woman is what I always say," he said as he moaned.

Adele couldn't help but smile.

"Stay with me, Billy. Help is on the way."

"Rick's a lucky man..." Billy said as he lost consciousness.

**ChaosChaosChaos**

Adele couldn't wake him. Billy's breathing was ragged, but at least it was there. He was still alive, but she didn't know for how long. Inexplicably, she found herself crying, scared that Billy would die on her watch, under her command. The very fear she had expressed to him, come to fruition and though he had pledged to protect Rick, knowing that a part of that fear resided with losing him, sending him on some mission in the middle of nowhere to possibly get killed, Billy hadn't realized that her fear was as much about sending anyone to their death, especially him because of how much Rick depended on him. Seeing him, cradled in her lap, possibly dying from saving her, it gave her physical pain. Still, she had a job to do and the best thing she could do for Billy now was to make sure help got to him as quickly as possible. The rest would be up to him.

She looked down at him and placed her palm on his cold and clammy face.

"You promised to protect Rick for me. You have to live to do that," she said softly. "Live, Billy."

As EMS and CIA personnel converged to the coffee shop, she gathered herself together and barked orders from the floor where she held Billy. She couldn't bring herself to leave him lying there alone, even though he was unconscious and comfort as well as company wasn't an issue anymore. He had saved her life and deserved better than to be left prostrate on the floor. Once EMS arrived, it was only then that she relinquished her "protection".

Rick had gotten there shortly after EMS had arrived and had started working on Billy along with him were Michael and Casey. The chaos of the scene shook Rick as he ran over to Adele and held her. He took a quick glance at Billy, his features pallid and slack as EMS worked to stabilize him. It gave him a pain to his chest.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his gaze pointing towards her bloodstained skirt.

She hadn't noticed it at all.

"I'm fine. Billy…he saved my life. I'm worried about him," she said, her voice no longer containing the authoritative tenor she had used to get things quickly accomplished.

The adrenaline left her as soon as she was in Rick's embrace, but her gaze still strayed towards the EMS personnel surrounding Billy's body, the pool of blood oozing from beneath their feet and she worried about how much he had lost and how he could lose so much and still be alive.

The screech of the heart monitor shattered their reunion with blood curdling shock. Adele jerked, startled by the piercing sound. They both turned and could only stare dazedly at what was happening. Michael and Casey joined them. There was a palpable singularity in that moment, of them watching the EMS people work, of seeing Billy's body go rigid one minute then slack the next, of hearing the continual scream of the monitor as opposed to the comforting blips of a steadied heart rhythm as well as the hurried commands being yelled back and forth by the rescuers. A single file of people, their faces transfixed to a horrific scene, helpless to intervene, caring expressions in varying degrees of disquiet, could only stand riveted to their spots, speechless. And the silence was grueling.

**TBC Thank you for reading. Hope you'll like the next part.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just Another Day in the Life…sort of**

**Part Two:**

Billy continued to code through the ride in the ambulance. His blood volume was dangerously low so the sooner they replenished it the better. The bullet had nicked something that was causing a slow bleed, but it was fast enough that if left untreated for much longer, Billy would bleed out just as certainly as if the bullet had severed an artery.

Once at the hospital, they learned they were short of his blood type, which was a rare one. When Adele had heard was it was she knew she could help as she had the same type. They prepped her and began drawing it. Rick sat by her side while it was being done, holding her hand.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine. Not the first time I've given blood," Adele said. "I'm just glad I can help."

Adele's eyes went unfocused and Rick noticed.

"What's on your mind?"

Adele then focused back to him.

"I told Billy…just before he…that one of my fears was sending you or any of the others to their deaths out on a mission. It's the one responsibility that…well, just weighs the heaviest. He tried to reassure me, of course, as is his way, but when he put himself between me and…" She swallowed with difficulty at the memory. "And now he's fighting for his life…it's the worst feeling."

Rick saw the anguish on Adele's face and understood. He stroked her cheek and smiled.

"I know, but it's part of the job –"

"It doesn't make the idea that someone…that Billy could die saving me any easier, does it?"

"Probably not, but I know he'd say it was worth it, that you were worth it. I know I do, but I admit I'm biased. No one could do the job unless they had come to terms with that possibility. A lesson I learned from Billy. I admit that it makes it harder when it's someone else, someone you know, someone you care about, but Billy is going to be fine. He always is. I think the man has nine lives," Rick joked, but she could tell by the lines on his face that previous close calls had left him marked with the frightening prospect of life without his friend someday.

"I'm glad I could help by giving him blood. Strange as it sounds, I feel like I'm returning the favor."

"It's not strange at all," Rick assured as he kissed the other hand. "It's why I love you so much. Your compassion makes you the right person to lead."

Adele blushed and smiled. Rick rose up to kiss her gently on the lips.

The transfusion helped stabilize Billy, but he was far from getting better. Each day was a process of one step forward, two steps back, with infection settling in and giving him fever-induced dreams. He would begin to breath on his own, but then the anxiety of his dreams kept pushing him towards respiratory distress and they would have to put him back on the respirator. When the nightmares finally stopped, they removed it permanently. They wanted to prevent pneumonia as much as they could.

Adele watched Billy sleep. He had been drifting in and out of consciousness. His face was almost ashen and gaunt. She was relieved to see fewer machines connected to him and that he was breathing through a nasal tube, but it was still cold comfort because the usually animated and full of life persona was still hidden beneath the uncomfortable repose.

She then heard a moan and Billy slowly opened his eyes. She stood up to meet his gaze. He met hers with half-mast lids, they were opening and closing lazily, trying to focus and engage recognition. At first she was worried that he wouldn't recognize her, but a few seconds later, a smile crept onto his face. She felt relief at seeing it.

"Deputy Director…" Billy rasped, his voice reflecting the strain that the intubation had caused his throat.

"Don't talk. Just rest," Adele said as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You all right?" He asked.

Adele found her emotions hitting her like a wave and she felt her eyes tear up. She then smiled.

"I'm fine. Thanks to you," she humbly said.

"It was…my pleasure…" he rasped with a shaky smile.

If she didn't know that he was terribly injured, she would be expecting him to bow like a knight.

He then scrunched his face in pain.

"Are you all right?" She asked concerned.

"Hurts a bit…is all."

"I'll get the nurse-"

"No, it's fine. It's passing…probably…will need to…get used to it, yeh?"

"It amazes me how you can adjust so quickly like that," Adele teased.

"Practice, I'm afraid…been through this too many times before," Billy stiffened slightly. "How are they holding up?"

"Better now that you're awake."

"How's Rick?" 

Adele sighed at the concern Billy showed for Rick.

"He's okay. He just went out to get something to eat. I had to order him to eat," she said with a small laugh.

Billy's smile broadened.

"I see the balance of power has shifted," he said tiredly.

Adele could only giggle.

"He'll be back soon."

"Adele?" Billy said, saying her name with reverence and humility.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"The nurses, they told me…you gave me your blood to save my life. I'm grateful."

Adele flushed with embarrassment at first then her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm just glad that I was the right type and…" She swallowed back her emotion. "I wanted to help. I felt I owed you for saving my life."

Billy noticed her emotional state and his own expression softened to one of empathy.

"You don't owe me anything. I'd do it again. It's part of the -"

"It's not that simple –"

"It's about that heavy burden we discussed, isn't it?"

Adele nodded. "It's just that you almost died…"

"Aye, that is the risk of doing the work but I have accepted it whole heartedly," Billy uttered through strained breaths. "I understand that weighing life and death decisions isn't easy, but I can assure you that as does everyone who works for you, there is no greater purpose nor no better leader to which we would lay down our lives for. Believe that."

Adele listened and nodded again, so moved by the conviction in Billy's voice.

"For me, it is as simple as that, but if you must feel obliged, as I said, I have been humbled by your kindness towards me. Consider the debt paid in full."

Adele nodded, but he noticed that there was something more.

"Something else troubling you?"

"No, no, it's just that you were my..."

"I'm your first casualty?" Billy teased, his breathing laboring. "I'm honored."

Adele couldn't help but laugh.

Billy's face twisted in pain and he began to gasp for breath. He then grabbed the handrail as if struggling to maintain control over the discomfort.

"Billy? Oh my God, hang on, I'll get help."

Adele ran out of the room, her voice frantically calling out for help.

Billy could no longer utter a word. His vision was tunneling into darkness as quickly as he was trying to suck in air into his lungs. He felt like he was breathing through a straw. Just before he lost consciousness completely, he felt probing hands and heard the words pulmonary embolism.

**ChaosChaosChaos**

Pulmonary embolism. The words were spoken so matter of fact. It made perfect sense. Doctors were into identifying what was wrong when a human body is assaulted, the more brutal the assault, the more harried the desire to ascertain the cause. They had to be clinical, unbiased about the person who was being attacked. It was all about the body and how to treat it. Simple. Easy.

But when you're the family member, the partner, the friend, all you heard was pulmonary embolism. The explanation of the condition gets filtered selectively, keywords like surgical complications, clots, thrombolytics aka "clot busters" get through, but shock relegates them to gibberish. The only words that are chillingly clear are medically induced coma, chances of survival diminished, but still possible.

The only sense that dominates at that moment is sight. The blank stares of stupefaction were written on all of their faces, desolation their only companion other than each other. Their companionship was everything, but their distress barely quelled by their company, the collective anguish too great to subdue.

Recovery was silently waiting for Billy's rescue of it and only he could reach for it, clutch it with an unwavering conviction to live and liberate it, but he was battling insurmountable infirmity, an archenemy so profound, it could represent itself as Billy's Moriarty.

And all his friends could do was be impotent bystanders, unable to intervene, unable to provide any curative superpowers to assist.

It was all on Billy and as they watched, stared at the unresponsive shell of a body before them, they couldn't help but wonder if that body had anything left to give.

The spirit was willing, but the flesh oh so weak. Would it be enough to have spirit to spare, if the body was so riddled with damage? It was daunting to them and they were able bodied.

Once again, the vigils resumed, willingly if not happily performed because for every day of silence from Billy, was one more day of lost hope for recovery, for the very real possibility that Billy would never return to them, that despite vital signs to the contrary, without movement, without his lightening wit and positive influence, he was in all respects except for those vitals, dead because Billy was more than his heartbeat, more than the brain activity sparking on monitors. He was the epitome of life well spent, life well celebrated and Billy would rather be dead if he couldn't do that, if he couldn't impart his wisdom, his protection to the members of the ODS.

For every visit, each person talked to Billy, hoping that he would hear them, not think that he had been abandoned, used their voices to lead him back from the darkness he was in. It was all magical thinking, but it was what they all clung to fiercely.

Adele was taking the situation particularly hard because he had suffered the embolism in front of her. It wasn't that she blamed herself for the condition. She wasn't usually irrational in that way, except in one way, it had been the last thing Billy had teasingly surmised before falling prey to the embolism, that he was her first casualty, the first person who had been injured in a mission on her watch. Except, it wasn't a mission she had sent him on and no, she hadn't ordered him to save her, but that was all irrelevant.

Bottom line, he had been injured in the line of duty, saving her was just a coincidence of circumstances and the pain there was as real as if she were sitting there waiting for Rick to emerge from a coma. She couldn't help the responsibility she felt for him. She also couldn't help pondering the cruel accidental events and choices that had brought Billy to the café that day.

_"Well, as Rick knows, I normally partake of the manufactured coffee in the CIA lounge, but I needed something stronger than its watery brew…"_

He shouldn't have been there in the first place.

It could have been her and Rick. It could have been him lying there instead of Billy. It was senseless speculation still, in a guilty way she was grateful that it hadn't been Rick and it was that particular nagging guilt which was what was eating at her. Billy shouldn't be here either. If she could blame fate, she would.

On this day, Rick, Michael and Casey were abroad conducting another mission. Being one man short weighed on her as well and she had to hope that they would be all right. She knew that their thoughts were here with Billy and she had to hope that it wouldn't be a distraction. Billy's promise of protecting Rick was impossible to fulfill now and it wasn't lost on her how she had relied on that promise.

She was visiting on all their behalves, promising to call them if anything changed.

She closed her eyes. She was exhausted. In an odd way, the bleeping of Billy's heartbeat was lulling her to sleep despite her efforts not to fall.

Suddenly, she was bolted awake by loud screeching.

It took a moment to register that alarms were blaring and rushing bodies were surrounding Billy. She rose from her chair, stiff and achy, and stepped back to give the doctors and nurses room to work.

Her breath was held in suspension between her throat and lungs as she stared.

"No, no…" was all she could say. "Please, don't…"

**ChaosChaosChaos**

Despite all of the alarms squealing as if indicating a crisis, it had turned out that Billy was emerging from his coma, struggling both to breathe and suffering pain. The doctors stabilized him, removed the ventilator and eased off his sedation.

Adele had called Rick to report the good if guarded news. Hearing his voice had soothed her anxiety. Though he wouldn't be able to return for several more days, the good news would make the mission that much more efficient as he had admitted that he, Michael and Casey had been a bit on edge. He told her that he loved her and she returned the sentiment. She then settled back into a nearby chair.

"Deputy Director?" A voice called.

It was familiar, comforting, reassuring. She turned towards the hospital bed and found Billy awake.

Adele offered a smile.

"How are you feeling? Should I get a nurse?" She asked concerned, seeing him twitch with pain.

"No, no, I'm a bit knackered, but I'm all right. What happened?" He asked.

"You suffered a pulmonary embolism, but you're going to be fine," she said with a trembling and forced smile. "Why don't you go back to sleep?"

Billy spied the uncertainty.

"Are you all right?" He asked tiredly.

"What? Of course, I'm fine."

Billy pinned her with a skeptical gaze.

"You'll have to be a little more convincing than that, I'm afraid," he teased.

"No, really, I'm fine," she insisted feebly.

"Clearly something's troubling you. Something you're not telling me?"

Adele realized that she had inadvertently misled him.

"Oh, no, no, really you're going to be fine. It's just when you..."

Billy came to realization.

"I scared you, didn't I? I'm sorry -"

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who should be sorry, it's because of me this happened..."

"As I recall, you didn't shoot me," Billy said with a touch of humor, hoping to ease Adele's anxiety.

She smiled, but it faded quickly.

"No, but you had to...because I didn't..."

"You blame yourself for what happened..." he surmised.

"If I had been able to disarm that man, you wouldn't have had to..."

Billy's expression was empathetic.

"What happened wasn't your fault. You mustn't blame yourself. I only did what had to be done. I'd do it again."

"I know," Adele said softly.

"Then why the recrimation?"

"You shouldn't have been there."

"I prefer to look at it as fate intervening so that I could be there."

She smiled and this time it lingered.

She had never been spiritual, religious or metaphysical. She had always been a pragmatist. Rick's presence in her life had given her another perspective, the beauty of an untainted view of the world.

"That's a nice thought, but it doesn't change the fact that I compromised you because of my lack of skill and you paid for that mistake. It makes me question how I can command...send people, good people like you, like..."

"Rick."

"Yes. How can I risk all of your lives when I..." Adele said. "I'm a poser."

Billy felt compassion for Adele and her doubts only affirmed his belief in her, in her ability to lead. It also affirmed that he would face hell for her if she had commanded it.

"Rubbish! You're conflicted and the fact that you worry, reveal your compassion, feel yourself unworthy because of that compassion makes you all the more worthy and capable of making the harsh choices in my eyes because they will be the right choices, but I know that it's one person in particular who weighs heaviest in your thoughts."

She turned away.

"I don't know–"

"Rick. It's about Rick."

"What about him?" Adele said, trying to feign confusion, but she knew where the conversation was going and it scared her to go there.

"You're feeling guilty about how your relationship with Rick was initially forged. I suspect that Higgins employed you to spy on Rick and by default the ODS. You were a mole."

She stiffened with fear then bowed her head in shame.

"You needn't deny it nor worry about exposure. Your secret is safe and I cast no judgement."

"How did you know?"

"I've been a spy much too long, love. It wasn't anything obvious, but I saw glimpses of your discomfort at your deceit and that's also how I know you are not a duplicitous person."

"All the more reason I haven't the qualifications to lead. The CIA is all about duplicity and deceit," she chastised.

"No, it's all the more proof that you're the best person to lead. Aye, the CIA is a right paranoid place to work, that it thrives on guile, cunning, chicanery and subterfuge, but you don't have to possess those qualities to be a good leader. The very fact that you aren't adept at such trickery makes you able to keep the corruption that comes from such talents at bay. "

Adele looked at Billy and found herself believing his conviction, but she still felt woefully inadequate in every way.

"I didn't plan on..."

"Falling in love with him. Suddenly it wasn't a mission anymore, it was personal," Billy continued, a small smile on his face at the thought of love blooming between them.

If he were to be honest, he was also a little envious.

Adele was on the verge of tears.

"Y…yes and…"

"You want to tell him, to be honest with him, but you're afraid that if you do –"

"I'll lose him."

Billy looked at her empathy once again on his face.

"You won't, love. I've seen your bond, that love between you and its strength has no equal and to be quite honest, the whole truth thing is overrated. Best to leave some things a mystery, yeh. There is no fault or crime to that. You love him. In the end, that's all that matters."

"That's just rationalizing what I did."

"No, that's love. Simple and complete."

"But what if Higgins…I have to tell him before he finds out. I know he will, secrets like this never stay secret and Higgins is well, Higgins. Once Rick knows what I've done no amount of explanation will make him believe that I really do love him."

Billy smiled.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Don't sell Rick short. Guess he didn't tell you about the merciless hazing we put the poor lad through, for he, too, was imbedded by Higgins as a mole among our ranks, but when Rick refused to continue playing that role, mostly charmed by our motely crew, yours truly being particularly persuasive, of course, Higgins turned to you so he, above anyone else, would understand the unfavorable position you were put into and would be the most forgiving. So tell him if you wish to unburden your conscience, but you will never lose his love. THAT you have successfully secured through your own stellar character and grace. Qualities that would make any man fall for you."

Adele calmed, blushed and smiled at Billy.

"I wish I could believe you."

"My, you're a tough nut to crack, aren't you? Usually I have these difficulties with Casey. I expect doubt from him," Billy teased.

She smiled then became pensive.

"Something else on your mind?"

"The truth. It's easier said than done, isn't it? Much as I want to be honest with Rick, I'm basically a coward because I'd rather keep on lying to him than lose him."

Billy sympathized and glazed over for a second, his thoughts straying.

"Indeed," he agreed. "It can be easier to lie to oneself. The persuasion would take very little effort."

"Thank you," she said.

"For what?"

"For making me feel better."

"I just spoke the truth," Billy said with a quick wink and smile.

She smiled back.

Adele had felt an easy rapport with Billy. Her anxiety and inadequecy left her and comfortable companionship replaced it.

She then noticed the silence.

She looked over to see if he had fallen asleep, but his expression was more of sad introspection.

"Something wrong?"

"Just idleness allowing unwelcome thoughts to enter is all."

"Like what?"

Billy paused for a moment.

"You were kind enough to listen to me. I'd like to return the favor, that is, if you want to share your thoughts. You can trust me to keep it private if you wish," she offered.

Billy smiled at her kindness.

"It's not trust that's the problem, love. I would trust you with my life."

Adele was pleasantly surpised at the bold declaration.

"It's the pain of remembering and your potential judgment of me from the reveal of my thoughts that I fear. That's true cowardice."

Adele noticed pain and regret on his face.

"If you'd rather –"

"I was thinking of my mum. I lost her years ago. It's never easy to lose someone you love, but when you disappoint them on top of it, it can make the memories bittersweet indeed."

Adele spotted again the visible ache on his face.

"I'm sure you weren't a disappointment to her."

"Kind of you to say, but I know different. She may have forgiven me, mums do that, but deep in her heart I know she wondered what she did wrong."

Adele's heart went out to him.

"Do you mean your deportation?"

Billy cringed at the mention of the word and she felt badly for causing such pain.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to –"

"It's all right. Nothing is more shameful to a parent than to watch their child be publically called out as an embarrassment, humiliated then thrown out of the country never to return…" Billy's face became grim with regret. "I couldn't even go back to be with her when she was…I couldn't even bury her…"

Adele took in a breath as she watched Billy crumble with feelings of loss and remorse.

"I would give just about anything to tell her I loved her and that I was sorry."

"I'm sure she knew that," Adele comforted.

"We'll never know," Billy said, clearing his throat of the impending emotion threatening to drown him.

Adele felt honored by Billy's "confession". It had meant a lot to be trusted that way in a world where trust was not only a valued commodity, but seldom ever shared.

Billy grimaced in pain.

"Are you all right?" She asked concerned.

"I'm fine," he said. "Thank you."

"For what? If it's for the blood, you already thanked me. It was nothing," she said with a small, shy smile.

"No, for something much more," Billy clenched. "I fear I will have a long road ahead of me to recover fully, but thanks to you, I will recover."

"I don't understand."

"For letting me unburden my soul to you. What I hadn't told you was that before this moment, I had toyed with the idea of letting go, seeing my mum, telling her things I should have, but now, I realize that would be the coward's way out."

Adele was a little shocked that Billy would ever entertain letting go of life. He was so ebullient and positive about life. It was hard not to catch it.

"I'm glad you felt that you could trust me with something so meaningful and painful as well. I promise I will respect that trust."

Billy smiled then nodded.

"Tell Rick the truth and I promise you he will love you all the more for your honesty…Love, it's what's worth living for. Don't let it go unspoken or unexpressed. Don't squander it."

Adele saw something, something she couldn't discern, in his eyes that spoke of more than his words were saying.

"Would you mind telling the nurse that I'm afraid my threshold for pain has been exceeded," Billy joked lightly as he stiffened and clenched his eyes closed.

"Of course," she said as she squeezed his arm in reassurance.

He watched her leave the room, sighed then whispered in hushed tones that no one would hear, "Rick, he's the better man, the kind of man you deserve, but I'll always love you with all my heart and I will always protect you."

**ChaosChaosChaos**

As each day passed, Billy began to recover with minimal setbacks. Adele had reported Billy's progress to the rest of the team while they were away and when Rick, Michael and Casey returned from their mission, they headed straight to the hospital and to Billy's room. Billy watched as Adele ran to give Rick a hug and a kiss. He couldn't help the pang of pain he felt in his chest, but would never begrudge them because he knew they were meant to be. He heard her say to him that they had to talk later and he couldn't help but smile. She would be sharing the burden of her deceit with him. He was certain of the outcome.

"It's good to see that you're finally awake," Casey teased.

"Yes, well, I'm already feeling a wee bit like Sleeping Beauty or is it Snow White these days? Apparently, movies and the telly are seeking to retell her tale. No matter, pricked by a needle or poisoned by an apple, either way, it's rather unpleasant to emerge from the repose."

"Yeh, he's better, all right," Casey said.

"How'd the mission go?" Billy asked, their safety always on his mind. "I hope my absence didn't cause any disruptions."

"No, in fact, it went quite smoothly without you," Casey again interjected.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Believe it," Casey said, his words saying one thing, but the expression on his face revealing the relief at seeing Billy alive.

"It's good to see you're getting better," Michael said, his own relief apparent.

"Well, since no one else will admit it, I will. We missed you," Rick said as he patted Billy on the back. "We could have used you out there."

Billy saw the sincerity on Rick's face and he was even more certain that Rick was the best man for Adele. He had compassion equal to hers. They could save the world of cynics together.

"Right, finally the truth wins out."

Casey could only roll his eyes. "Why do you insist on encouraging him? Isn't his ego large enough?"

Laughter filled the room and Adele smiled brightly.

She had observed their bond and had been impressed by it. Yes, they were unorthodox, but they were a tightly knit team and their successes were indisputable. In the times that she had been Acting Director, she had felt comfortable in assigning them the more difficult missions. Her concern for their safety always weighed heavily and she wondered at times if Higgins ever felt that weight. When she had started dating then falling in love with Rick, the concern had notched up exponentially, but there was also comfort in knowing that the others would protect him, keep him safe. Not for her, but because it was their way. They personified the commitment of never leaving a man behind or without backup. After talking with Billy, she somehow knew that he would make sure nothing stood in the way of Rick's safety even if he had to ensure it single-handedly himself.

Billy had taken Rick under his personal wing, guiding him, teaching him, protecting him above and beyond the call of mentorship. She often wondered about the investment, not suspiciously, but more because it was so unusual.

A nurse then walked in and told everyone that they had to leave, that Billy needed to rest.

As each man filed out, Rick the last one, Adele turned back and whispered to Billy, "I'm going to tell him the truth tonight. Thank you for your advice."

She thought she had caught a look on his face that seemed like resignation, but it flittered so fast that she thought she might have imagined it.

"You really have to get some rest," the nurse pressed.

"Never let it be said that I would ever disobey orders," he teased back.

A burst of laughter came from Adele knowing the absurdity of his statement. He took joy and strength at making her laugh so heartily.

"Well, I guess there's a first for everything," she retorted back as she left the room.

He smiled with the knowledge that he would soon be back with his mates and working for a woman he had respected and would be content to love from afar. After all, he was a scholar of the Bard himself and understood that love can be complicated and torturous, but as Tennyson once coined, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. His life would be barren indeed without the friendship of his mates and without being in the presence of the woman he would love until death. It was just another day in the life.

**FIN. Thanks for reading as always and I hope you enjoyed the read. I couldn't ship Billy and Adele because of Rick. Neither would betray him, but I thought a little unrequited love on Billy's part anyway would be fun. Hope you thought so too.**


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